Where I’ve Been and Where I’m Going

I DON’T KNOW. I seriously do not know.

As much as I’d love to say that I’m just saying that to be relatable, the truth is I truly wish I was joking. I’ve been living life day by day–– hoping an answer would miraculously come to me as I’m squatting over a Bart toilet because I forgot to go before I left for school the third day in a row. Turns out you really can’t feel any sort of existential anxiety when you really have to go; those are truly moments of pure bliss…and well, pain. I’m surprised that I still have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend calms you down while you cry about legitimate real-life problems and mine calms me down as he talks me through my poop sweats. We all have our problems.

This past fall semester I started school at Academy of Art University and I would like to post about my time there so far in a separate blog post. However, I would like to say that if there’s one thing I thoroughly enjoy it is watching the pigeons move their heads to the beat of my music while on my walks to class. Turns out they not only move perfectly on beat to any Adele song, but also to “My Type” by Saweetie. Despite almost getting kidnapped by a pimp in the city alley ways my freshmen year of high school, I’d say my first semester in the city was just as eventful in much more less traumatic ways–– don’t ask.

The past month I’ve been on break from school and the anxiety of my future is starting to settle in now that I have had so much free time. I know I am only 21, but I feel behind when everyone’s life around you on social media looks like it’s following the expected life course. I feel sort of discouraged. I feel like I’m wasting time working at a job that isn’t in my major. I feel lost. In a moment like this, the average girl my age may be frantically filling out an application to be in a season of The Bachelor for that awesome influencer job they get afterwards. I can drink wine, make a fool out of myself and cry–– I can cry a lot. BUT THEN I remember that I have a boyfriend and the producers will find out, and I refuse to go down in life as a Jed (Love you Jeremy hehe 😅).

Speaking of influencers, I recently interned for a local content creator this past summer and MAN OH MAN, Jacqueline has taught me A LOT. She has easily become not only a mentor, but a big sister to me. Ahem, @jaquelinewoodwell on IG ;-). She has the biggest heart, and an internship that started with me just dipping my toes into the new age of fashion turned into her helping me grow my own platform. Since the summertime, I have worked with over 10 brands. TEN. These brands emailed me and sent me their product for FREE in exchange for an Instagram post from me–– TALK ABOUT A DREAM. Although being an “influencer” has never really been my dream job, I can’t lie and say that this glimpse of it isn’t pretty sweet. Not only have I worked with Jacqueline, but I also have worked with Kristen, who although doesn’t make fashion content, makes some YUMMY lookin’ food posts. She has the sweetest soul and has such a warming motherly vibe (@hellonutritarian).

That’s what I’ve been up to lately my fellow family and friends. Oh, and I’m pregnant.

LMAO JUST KIDDING. Thought I’d get some of your hearts going for a second.

xo,

Alyssa