I have just started to read Immortality in my Humanities 105 class, and if I’m being completely honest I thought I was going to hate it by just taking one look at the cover. Yes, I was one of those people. However, I kid you not, I was immediately hooked by the first couple of sentences. I’m still confused if it is the author talking directly to the readers, or if the narrator is someone he just made up (whom essentially made up someone else) is talking for him. Confusing; I know. ANYWAY…my point still remains the same. This book is extremely intriguing, yet SO confusing (to be fair, I’m only like halfway done so let’s hope it makes more sense in the end and I’m not actually just dumb lmao).
The story starts off with this guy, like I said I don’t know if it’s the actual author speaking or a character he had made up, but it starts off with this guy people-watching by the pool. He’s actually specifically watching a mid-60 year old lady at her swim lesson, but that sounds really creepy now that I think about it. Eventually this lady, whom the narrator later names Agnés, waves bye to her swim instructor. From that gesture on, a character is born in the mind of the narrator. He’s never known someone named Agnés, but hell, that’s what was on his mind so don’t question it I guess. The point is, from just one gesture, he was willing to practically tell this woman’s narrative/inner thoughts and what he imagined her life was like. Of course we’d never know if his claims were even remotely true or not, but I realized I tend to find myself doing the same thing without even being aware of it.
When I first got this book – ha, got. I wish we got books in college; I meant *bought. Anyway, when I first bought this book I flipped through it to see what I was going to get myself into. The small font and never-ending pages gave me more of a headache than the old smell of the book did, so I was hoping the story did not do the same. While I was flipping through the pages, I came across some highlights and notes. Yeah, no surprise. I know. Almost every used book in college is marked up in some way, shape or form. However, these specific notes caught my attention. The way it was written at first glance did not seem academic at all.
If you’re anything like me, your initial reaction must’ve been “but why are you re-reading text messages from Rin if you’re still wearing Evren’s bracelet hmm?” I was instantly sucked into this story that I knew nothing about other than these few lines. So I figured, like Milan Kundera (the author), that I’d give birth to my own Agnés: Luna.
Luna was driving to school trying to, at the same time, plug-in the aux to her phone. It wasn’t until maybe two miles later that she realized she had the IPhone 7 now. That was a tendency of hers: always trying to make things work because she forgot they didn’t. She couldn’t stand the radio in the morning. She enjoyed her playlists because with her playlists she had control over what she listened to. It wasn’t like any morning talk show that’s full of whom kissed whom in the glamorous world of Hollywood. She was completely disinterested in any celebrity’s private life: what was it to her? However, school drama was a different thing. If Jessica kissed Caleb at last night’s party and then proceeded to puke on him, like a scene that’s straight out of Mean Girls, she NEEDED to know. It’s not everyday something exciting happened in her town; in Hollywood, exciting was the norm.
Because she had taken the route to school so many times, Luna’s mind was overfilled with any other thought than the actual road. It was Monday and she liked Monday’s: Monday’s and well, Wednesday’s too. Those were the days she had her Psychology class, and Luna was feeling this one hottie who sat next to her. He always laid back in his chair but not in a way that made him look sloppy. He laid back in a way that made him look unbothered at the fact that they had a 10 page essay due soon, and it was so, so seductive. He wasn’t a cool boy though: he didn’t think he was better than everyone else, and she was sure of that from the two times that they spoke. Luna fell in love with Rin when they were playing ice-breaker games the first week of class. With a little piece of hair in front of his face falling down from his perfect, slightly-messy comb over he smiled when Luna said that her favorite time of the day was night. Rin found it funny that Luna’s favorite time of the day was night. So from then on, Luna believed that because this guy was capable of laughing at stupid puns like that, he must’ve been a down-to-earth guy. It was a stretch of an assumption, but they were immediately drawn to each other. That’s how Rin and Luna met; the rest is history. They dated for two years after that.
When things ended, Luna didn’t want to do anything. Every time she stood up, she felt a pit at the bottom of her stomach that felt like her heart fell directly to the bottom. She always half-joked with her friends that if it had fallen any more, her heart would’ve fell out of her ass. Her joke always made her friends laugh, and they always believed her when she told them she was okay. What even was “okay?” Was it okay that Rin fell out of love with her? Was it okay that he had no remorse when telling her that she needed to get over it already two days after the breakup when she saw him making out with Kendra? No it wasn’t okay, but she joked about her heartache hoping it’d ease the pain. She couldn’t shake the feeling. There were days she was so sure she was over him: she would wake up early on Saturday mornings to take pictures for her personal portfolio; that was her hobby before Rin came along, and that’s something he couldn’t take away from her. However, on a break from taking pictures one Saturday, she stopped at a grocery store nearby to get an apple. She didn’t want the apple though, she wanted the McDonald’s cheeseburger from across the street. Rin had called her fat though, and she felt as if that’s why he broke up with her after being together for so long. She shook the thought and just sat on the curb with her expensive Canon camera around her neck weighing down her head like her heavy heart weighed down her whole body.
Each loud bite of the apple couldn’t quiet the noise that was going on in her head. It was one thought after another. Rin was her person; he was supposed to be there for her forever. He was there all those nights when her insecurities wouldn’t let her sleep. Now she had to put them at rest on her own, and she didn’t even know where to start. She examined each person that left the grocery store and she couldn’t help but wonder when was the last time that they cried themselves to sleep. When was the last time someone else in her vicinity felt the same aching pain she felt in that moment? She knew this feeling wasn’t specific to her; she knew she couldn’t be that alone. It sure did feel like it though. She saw a lady in a pretty, blue sundress walk out with a bouquet of daisies.
No one dressed that nicely had plans of only being a couch potato that day. Luna wondered if they were for an old best friend the lady was meeting up for coffee or if they were for the lady’s niece whose 3rd birthday party was today. Speaking of birthdays, or I guess birth in general, Luna couldn’t shake the idea of how many times her and Rin had talked about how cute their future children would be. They would have his soft, brown hair and Luna’s bright green eyes. It’s like as soon as they broke up, these children, although only figments of their imagination, died as their love did. She knew they weren’t actually real, but to know they never will be killed Luna. It was silly when she thought about it, and she knew she couldn’t tell her friends because they’d never understand. It just felt like the love between her and Rin resulted in children spirits that were now gone forever. Maybe she took her parents explanation of sex a little too literally: “Well, you see, when two people love each other…” Luna finished the last bite of her apple and went to walk back to her car she had parked a little further down by the park she was taking pictures at.
During her short walk back, she thought back to her old high school boyfriend she swore she was in love with. She figured if she could remind herself that she got over someone she once thought was her world, she could get over Rin. In fact, Luna had forgotten all about Evren. The only thing she remembered from their relationship was that he gave her a bracelet from his trip to Monterey as a six month anniversary gift. It was a gold charm bracelet with three charms on it: a “L,” a moon, and a heart. She loved that bracelet and she couldn’t find it in her to throw it away even after she found out he had been cheating. She found it funny that she REALLY thought she had gotten over her insecurities about being cheated on by Evren while she was with Rin, but it’s like all those insecurities came flooding back once Rin chose not to be her backbone anymore. She hadn’t worn the bracelet in a while, but for the first time in years she pulled it out of her glove department where it had been ever since the day she found out Evren had secretly been seeing Andrea. She slipped the bracelet back on and it was like she was taken back in time when Rin wasn’t any of her concern because he hadn’t existed yet. She remembered the day her and Evren ended now so vividly.
*okay now back to actual reality where it’s Alyssa’s blog lol*
I abruptly ended it there because honestly I could go on and on forever. I could never tell, and probably will never know, if some of the events the narrator describes Agnés going through to be actual events that he’s experienced himself at one point or if they are just random. I guess you’ll never know either 😉 Anyway, yeah. Deep, I know. So from now on I will only see those notes written in purple ink as Luna’s thoughts when she took the same Humanities class that I am currently in. Maybe the next person who has this book after me will have the same thoughts. Maybe the book owner after me will conjure up their own story of how some girl wounded up writing those solemn words. I just find it really weird that some girl (I’m assuming it’s a girl) actually took the time of day to write something so personal in the book itself. I wonder if she had left the words there on purpose? I don’t know man; so many possibilities.