“Be A Man”

For starters, HAPPY OCTOBER! 👻

My family has this humongous real-life looking spider my mom pulls out the attic every year for decorating and it’s terrifying; I hope she forgets it’s up there.

One thing (of many) that is more terrifying than that stupid furry spider, is the fact that boys feel like “being a man” is more important than being a decent human being.

If you’re already rolling your eyes and thinking, “ugh feminism” then I’m sorry but you’re dumb. This isn’t about bashing boys (FYI Feminism isn’t synonymous to bashing boys so I don’t know where any of you got that from)

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ANYWAY, this is bashing the stereotype so many boys feel like they have to conform to. Reality check — you don’t have to be a douche to be a man. You can be a man and a good guy! GASP. Because yes, good guys do exist. There’s no set rules on being a man; however, over the years a collective list has been compiled known as the “man box:”

  1. Do not cry openly or express emotions (with the exception of anger)
  2. Do not express weakness or fear
  3. Demonstrate powercontrol (especially over women)
  4. Agression-Dominance
  5. Views women as property/objects
  6. Do not “act the slightest bit gay”

etc.

A guy who lives and breathes by these few rules are far more scary than any prop spider by far. His ego is constantly under attack, or more so he feel as if it is. These are the kind of guys who always seem to have had a “crazy ex.” Everyone knows he’s straight, but yet he feels as if somehow his masculinity is at stake 24/7. I could go on and on, but I’m sure as you read that classic, cookie-cutter description someone popped into your head lol.

Guys who grow up with these ideals are truly psychologically damaged in my opinion. 

They hear these phrases everywhere– it’s not once in a blue moon either:

“Be a man and don’t be a pussy.”

“Don’t cry and don’t be a little bitch.”

“You should’ve fucked her. She’s hot; I’d tap that.”

Excuse my language, but so many parents raise their sons under these constricing “rules.” It doesn’t stop at home either because it continues at school. These words create monsters. They grow up, date a girl and end up saying stuff like:

  • “You have mountains of pimples on your face.” 
  • “You will never be happy with any other guy now that we aren’t together.” 
  • “You’re never going to have a boyfriend if you keep being so picky. Your standards are way too high for someone who’s a solid 6.” 
  • “She’s packing on weight. She’s getting kind of gross looking lol. Doesn’t look right on her body type.” 
  • “You look like old major and a dyke. You’re going to die alone because you look like a pig.” 
  • “I really like you, and I would date you, but you’re too fat.” 
  • “You’re too Asian and you have a big forehead.” 
  • “She loved me but she couldn’t handle having a boyfriend because she was too selfish.” 

Want to know the scariest part of all? These are actual insults that were said to actual girls from actual guys. Some guys are too busy establishing their dominance that they feel the need to raise up their ego bar in the process and hurt someone else. Do you see how this is all so damaging like HELLO?! These “men” are scared of being considered a “woman” or “gay” so often that they feel the need to attack these groups. Being a “man” isn’t being a douche. A man doesn’t demean girls so he could feel empowered. A man doesn’t pretend his break-up doesn’t affect him because he’s too good for that “simp” shit. Real men have emotions. They’re sympathetic/empathetic and they don’t feel challenged when a girl, who’s more powerful than they are, steps into the room. Guys can’t say shit like those quotes above and think that’s okay because they’re just being “manly.” Boys will be boys, right? Locker room talk, right?

I’m not saying girls are completely innocent either, because many are the first to pull the victim card. I’m aware of that. But I, being a straight female who has only dated guys, feel as if I can only talk about this instance so passionately because I’ve experienced it myself. Besides, it’s my blog so I do what I want lmao. The bottom line here is, if you’re a guy don’t be afraid to have feelings. Don’t be afriad to empathize with girls and actually be considerate. Don’t worry; no one will think you’re gay. You’re in the clear! You’re gucci! Just don’t go and talk badly of someone like you’re cool just to make yourself feel cool and dominant. We get it; you’re so strong and cool and totally a “man.” Too bad you’ll be single… 🙂

By the way! If you haven’t seen this Ted Talk, I highly suggest it. It’s a crazy eye-opener. Click Me

 

 

 

 

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